|Ripped from Tine's meme
||[Aug. 27th, 2006|09:18 am]
Hello there. I haven't been around in quite a long while. I was afraid that my account had dropped me, but I'm still here. |
Things have been so absolutely nuts lately. My school has taken a 3 week break that should be a break for me too. Isabella's classes are on break as well, so we should be resting and gearing up for the next round. NOT!
First of all, I quit the family business. Yep. Oscar & I felt that we were totally snuffed out of it, and actually, nobody seems to care. (Wait until the next holiday comes around though, that's when they're usually begging for help). But that is subjective due to lots of big stuff going on too. Oscar wasn't being called after work for deliveries or for anything. My mom first hired some bitch to do my job months ago, and we had it out. Then I reluctantly agreed to work in the office again. I just had myself convinced that that was the better thing for me anyway, when I got snuffed out of there too. Being a family business, it's really rough and my mom doesn't play fair. She doesn't pay us half the time and when she does, she only pays us for part of the hours we work. Such bullshit. And she does that only to family and friends working for her. I'm the only family member who comes in when they're actually scheduled and does their certain job, and I was coming in to finding other family members sitting on their fat asses at my desk and trying to do my job. The hell with that.
Then my step-father finally got too sick to drive or anything. He's had cancer for a couple of years now and had been refusing treatment. They finally got hospice to come into the home so he could die comfortably at home. All of a sudden, my mom stopped coming to work all together, just so abruptly and didn't tie up any loose ends. Such as, asking my brother to come in the mornings and "be in charge". Fuck all that! I've put 17 years into this business, and you couldn't pay my brother to come in before. True, he has the time to come in in the a.m.'s and I don't. But it'll be a cold day in hell before he's in charge of me. And he would do things like close the shop when I got there, shut down the computers on me, just be a dick. The thing with him is that he did all that, but also has been bitching about it the whole time. It's the first time he's every had a regular schedule in his life and he's pissed about it.
So we quit. And what am I doing? I'm waiting tables at a Bennigan's restaurant! Of all things. Sometimes I feel like a big loser, but sometimes I feel really really free too. At least Bennigan's is a pretty nice place to work, and I consider it a pretty nice restaurant. I'm actually really nervous about it. And I'll be making more money doing that than being an Administrative Assistant for a huge floral design studio. Seriously, I know it's hard to start out in business. But it was also hard to be making half the rate of what I ought to be making by now. Maybe we'll go back to help on the holiday, I don't know. And God, now I'm actually hoping to NOT get pregnant any time soon.
My step-father passed away last Saturday, and we had the memorial service yesterday. I'll have to write more on that family dynamic at a later time or else this will be way too long. But it's really really weird around here without him. And it's been very sad, of course. This is the closest person to me that's passed away, and it's just so weird to me that time can go on and the sun can still rise without an integral part of this world around anymore.
Anyway. I can't wait for my classes to start. I feel like a big part of myself is impatiently on hold. My mom was going to back pay me by helping out with my & Isabella's next round of classes. She is notorious for making promises she can't keep. (Like, "I'll work around your schedule. You can work whenever you can...") When the time came to make good on her promise, and class fees were due, she backed out and was extremely mean about it. Nice. That's another reason we backed out of the business.
I'm going back to Bennigan's to continue my training this afternoon. Wish me luck.
1. FIRST NAME? Tamara
2. ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, my 18 year-old mother thought she was being cool & original.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Yesterday, at my step-father's memorial service.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Only when I'm trying to write neatly.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? None. It's all over-processed crap.
6. KIDS? One beautiful daughter.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably not. I'd be too wrapped up in my own bullshit to be friends with me.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? This one is a sometimes journal, plus I really try to keep up with the handwritten notebook, but it's really tough. I usually just end up using it to do long-hand math when balancing my checkbook.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Chaaa.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Probably not. I have a delicate stomach these days.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Frosted Mini-Wheats.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically, No. Mentally, yes. Emotionally, kind of.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Can't eat ice cream anymore either, due to my delicate constitution. The last time I ate ice cream, about a month ago, I was up all night with severe stomach cramps and dry heaves. But I used to favor vanilla.
16. SHOE SIZE? 8
17. RED OR PINK? Red.
18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Right now, that I suddenly feel really fuckin' fat all the time. Just all of a sudden I seem to have a really flabby middle. Where the fuck did that come from and why didn't I notice it coming?
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Two of my old best friends, Douglas & Jason. I don't know if I'll ever see them again.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I don't care.
21. WHAT COLOR OF PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? Purple & pink striped pajama pants & no shoes.
22. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE WRITER/BOOK/MOVIE? Writer: That's really tough. Stephen King is awesome. I've never really had a favorite author though. Book: Again, tough. I read mostly all non-fiction all the time, so it's hard to say. Movie: I don't think I have one.
23, WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? my husband and our adopted little brother snoring in the living room. The guys stayed up late, drinking & shooting the shit last night, and passed out there.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Black.
25. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SMELLS? Roses, coffee, Oscar's cologne,Isabella's hair after a bath
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE ON THE PHONE WITH? My only friend, Lisa.
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Eyes.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I ripped this off of Tine's blog, but I like Tine very much! :)
29. FAVORITE DRINK? alcoholic: red wine non: water
30. FAVORITE SPORT? none. I don't really care for any sports.
31. HAIR COLOR? dark brown (looks black), with carmel highlights
32. EYE COLOR? Hazel
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but thinking about it. Im so sick of these damn glasses. Maybe Lasik?
34. FAVORITE FOOD? I'm not really into food unless I'm starving. Good thing I'm a waitress now.
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Scary Movies. Oh yeah.
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Chronicles of Narnia last night, but I fell asleep half way through.
37. COLOR OF SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING? Purple, to match my pajama pants.
38. WINTER OR SUMMER? Absolutely Summer.
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on who they're coming from.
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Not really into dessert either.
41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea.
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Everyone.
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? "The Well-Trained Mind", "Math Activities for Preschoolers", "Homeschooling the Early Years Child"; and "Been Here & Gone", which absolutely fucking cool, by David Dalton. It's a fiction based on a lot of real delta blues legends like Charlie Patton & Bessie Smith as characters. It's a hoot.
44. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Nothing, it's just black. God, I'm boring.
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Guitars, Johnette Napolitano's voice (always at gloomy times and always in the fall for some reason), Isabella singing & laughing, bells, storms
46. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I didn't watch any tv, just the movie.
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Austin TX, or Somerset MA. Haven't figured out which was furthest.
49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Some people really like the way I sing, and it's my favorite thing to do. I guess that's it.
50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Illinois, 1974.